The invention discloses a multifunctional portable self-service vehicle washing machine which comprises a barrel assembly, a barrel cover assembly, a brush assembly, a connecting rod assembly and a sewage collecting assembly. A slide key is arranged on a barrel shell, a slide groove and a slide hole are formed in the barrel shell, the volume of a barrel can be adjusted, an ordinary water tank and a sewage tank are made of rubber materials, the volumes of the ordinary water tank and the sewage tank can be changed along with extension and retraction of the barrel shell, and collected sewage can be purified by a purifying device; vehicle washing sewage can be sucked into the sewage tank by the barrel cover assembly, and vehicles can be dried by means of blowing by strong wind generated by the barrel cover assembly; electromagnets are arranged in the brush assembly, a separation type brush disc can be folded, and water in absorbent cotton can be squeezed and drained by the electromagnets; an S-shaped rod in a hard connecting rod of the connecting rod assembly can be bent, so that angles of a rod can be adjusted, and a water outlet pipe, a water suction pipe and a circuit channel are arranged in the connecting rod; the vehicle washing sewage can be collected by the sewage collecting assembly. The multifunctional portable self-service vehicle washing machine has the advantages that the multifunctional portable self-service vehicle washing machine has functions of washing the vehicles, collecting and purifying the sewage and drying the vehicles by means of blowing, accordingly, the vehicle washing efficiency can be improved, water resources can be saved, and onboard carrying can be facilitated.