The invention provides a steel slag modifier with structural grinding aid and surface coating functions and a preparation method thereof. The steel slag modifier with the structural grinding aid and surface coating functions comprises the following raw materials, by weight, 5.0%-20.0% of ethylene glycol, 5.0%-20.0% of triisopropanolamine, 5.0%-20.0% of triethanolamine, 35.0%-70.0% of liquid paraffin and 15.0%-50.0% of kerosene. Compared with the prior art, the steel slag modifier are compounded by the raw materials, the stirring temperature, the stirring speed and the stirring time are controlled, a steel slag compounding agent with the structural grinding aid and surface coating functions is obtained, and the obvious effects on improving the grindability and dispersibility of steel slag are achieved. According to the steel slag modifier with the structural grinding aid and surface coating functions and the preparation method thereof, the energy consumption of steel slag grinding can be reduced, the production process is environment-friendly and pollution-free, furthermore, the components are simple, the cost is low, the unification of economy and environment friendliness is realized, the economic benefit and social benefit are obvious, and the popularization and application of steel slag ultrafine powder are facilitated.