The invention provides a vehicle starting control method and system and a vehicle, and the method comprises the steps that when it is detected that the vehicle has a starting demand, a whole vehicle power control unit PCU controls a power source torque and a clutch torque slope, and the power source torque, a clutch reference torque and a clutch offset torque act together to control the starting demand of the vehicle; finely the target transmission torque of the clutch is adjusted in real time according to the actual rotating speed of the power source, and the power source end rotating speed is guided to rise to the target rotating speed along with the guiding rotating speed until the power source rotating speed is synchronous with the gearbox input shaft rotating speed. According to the method, the power source end and the clutch load end are controlled, the fluctuation of the rotating speed of the power source end is weakened through the combined action of the clutch reference torque and the clutch offset torque, the stable torque output is ensured, and the good starting smoothness and dynamic property of the vehicle are obtained. Due to the fact that complex calculation is not needed, power assembly torque output and clutch transmission torque are determined, rotating speed fluctuation caused by PID closed-loop control is weakened, different stages of rotating speed rising do not need to be refined, and therefore control and calibration are easier.