The invention discloses a reactive intumescent flame retardant for polyurethane and a synthesis method of the reactive intumescent flame retardant, relates to a flame retardant technology, in particular to a novel intumescent flame retardant which contains an acid source, a carbon source and a gas source simultaneously and contains a hydroxyl group serving as an active group. The chemical name ofthe reactive intumescent flame retardant for polyurethane is 3,9-di{N,N-di(2-ethoxyl)-amino}-2,4,8,10-4-oxo-3,9-diphosphate spiro-3,9-dioxo-[5,5]-undecane. The structure of the reactive intumescent flame retardant is shown as a formula (I). The synthesis method comprises the following steps of: adding 3,9-di{N,N-di(2-ethoxyl)-amino}-2,4,8,10-4-oxo-3,9-diphosphate spiro-3,9-dioxo-[5,5]-undecane into water; dropwise adding diethanolameine and triethylamine at the temperature of 0-5 DEG C; reacting at the temperature of 50-60 DEG C for 4-6 hours; concentrating under reduced pressure; purifying; and performing vacuum drying to obtain the flame retardant. The flame retardant and the synthesis method of the reactive intumescent flame retardant have the advantages of integration of phosphorus, nitrogen and carbon, high phosphorus and nitrogen flame-retardant ingredients, no containing of halogen, nontoxicity, environmental friendliness, high carbon forming property, high compatibility with apolyurethane system, simple process, mild synthesis condition and suitability for industrial implementation.